"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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