The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
