walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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