I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
