Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
she looked like the before picture.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
