Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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