so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
