I feel great
I just peed on a car
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
