the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
