going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
