we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
