High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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