I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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