I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
