he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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