if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
