wat bout pragnant strippers??
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Congratulations! We have a period
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