She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
