No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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