Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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