So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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