I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You ate ashes out of my bong
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
