Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Houston, we have a blender
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
