I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
