that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
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