Sry I called you an 8
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
