You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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