I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
