chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
