I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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