So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I want a musical about memes.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
