Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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