Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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