i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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