it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
