he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
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She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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