If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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