i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
