Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
