Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
When are your genitals available?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
