by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
