SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
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