That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
