my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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