i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
