Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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