im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
