i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
