he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
