It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
